It’s Happening
Oh boy. Something is happening to me here. Slowly but surely, I find myself changing. I am unsure about how I feel about it, but I have definitely taken notice. I think I am going through a growth spurt. Not in height, for, sad as I am that I shall never join James in the 6 feet tall and over club, I am no longer growing taller. No, I am talking about weird little changes in myself that are likely occurring because I live alone now and I work full time. So, you ask, how does this manifest itself? I would call parts of it maturity, but I dunno where the rest comes from.
Organization is becoming increasingly necessitated by my schedule. This plays out in a few ways. I am no longer the guy who goes to change the calendar on December 1st to find that it still reads August 26th. I sure used to be. Where has that guy gone? Dunno, but he’s been replaced by or grown into the guy who changes his calendar a week in advance and has markups in the mini calendars for the last and next month just to ensure continuity. What gives?
I am becoming a crazy person. (Ha - I know 80% of you, from those who know me in person, just thought “too late!”) It’s true, though. I have recently discovered that I talk to myself. Not just in the self-assuring / self-comforting way that my little cousin is known for, but in other ways too. (Don’t misunderstand - I also tell myself that everything’s ok, etc, etc. Ha ha.) I talk to the TV now…and I chat with myself while cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or even biking around to Hakata Bus Stop. Why? Am I that in need of hearing English once in a while? Or is it because I spend all of my time taking care of things alone? It’s good to know that I’m not really going crazy. Ha ha.
I am also, quite disturbingly, becoming an old man. Huh? Well, I have caught myself 3 or 4 times having “I can fix that myself” thoughts or going out of my way to jerry-rig something to work to my preferences. Where is the Deas that just went with the cards dealt him? Why do I feel compelled to take on home improvement projects? To fill time? Because now I understand the difference that little things can make when leveraged against your average weekly grind? Got me. But I sure figured out a McGuyver style solution to the “uneven-balcony-causes-the-dryer-to-spin-off-balance-and-try-to-kill-itself” problem I’d been having. Used a bottlecap, 4 used cassette tapes, a cardboard box, and a length of rubber hose. But why did I go after it? Because I am losing my mind…
So, in fairness, some of my changes are behaviors that are required. If I do nothing about some things, it screws my life up. (Buying wooden chopsticks / disposable eating utensils instead of using silverware I’d have to clean later, for instance, used to get me around such issues in school.) Oh well. At least the maturity is kicking in in some ways too. I tell you what, though. The whole process is pretty dadgum interesting.