Here is a BIG video of my apartment, around 8 minutes and 35 seconds long. I finally got a flash player plugin working, so this is stored on my own server. Cool, huh? Hope you enjoy it. By the way, for those of you who laugh at me because I tell you it’s a door, gimme a break. Not everyone knows about sliding doors inside houses, ok? (I know that is a weak defense, but it’s all I’ve got. Let me save SOME face. Please.)
I have occasionally been known to have moments where my senses go off the charts. My family still makes fun of me for the time that I smelled root beer. Thing is, I am just as sure today as I was then that I really did smell root beer in the air that day. Anyway, I tell you that so that you understand that I may not be entirely trustworthy as a guide to some things.
I am fairly sure that this is not one of those moments. I have been backed up by other people – like the time in Imabari at Bill’s bar, when he made a new drink up, but substituted a normal ingredient. We passed it around, and I took a few sips and declared that it tasted like the crust on an average loaf of white wonder bread. Guess what? They agreed with me. Bill made a cocktail that tasted like bread crusts.
Anyway, the title of this entry is an altered version of the Trix commercials in America. Trix is a fruity cereal, incredibly sugary, which is marketed to children. The tagline is, “Silly rabbit, trix are for kids!” Well, I want to know who decided to meld Trix with my lunch. I bought a bowl of Ginger Pork & Rice today from the shopping center, and I kid you not, the ginger sauce, while tasting of ginger, tasted like it shared the same base as the Trix fruit flavorings.
I know, you are asking yourselves, “How can that be? Ginger isn’t fruity, the two tastes are completely different.” I submit Mountain Dew (original) and Code Red for evidence. They taste different – but anyone familiar with the original detects it immediately in Code Red. In fact, you taste both at the same time. You taste the base, but with the redness as well. (I also submit Juicy Fruit, which is neither juicy nor fruity. Bad product name, folks.) Anyway, it can happen, and today, it happened. I distinctly tasted ginger pork – but it had the undertones from Trix cereal in it. Call me crazy, go ahead, I am just sharing.
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In other news, I was asked to elaborate on the federal judge’s ruling in Hawaii that I mentioned in an earlier post. Let me make this abundantly clear: I am not from Hawaii, I cannot speak with authority on topics Hawaiian, and do not pretend to do so. I am merely related this story as I came upon it. Also, I am not anti-Hawaiian. I actually consider it one of my daydream paradises (not that have a monopoly on that). There, I think that covers my preemptive disarming comments section. Ha ha. 
This link will take you to the Star Bulletin’s copy of the text of the court ruling (which apparently took place in November of 2003, which strikes its former status as a current event on my radar). Turns out it’s old news. Oh well. Moving right along.
This link will take you to the Star Bulletin’s coverage of the issue. (In other words, the reporting, not a copy of a court document.) I suggest anyone interested read those bits for themselves.
I am unsure of the events that took place during the 1893 end to the Hawaiian monarchy, and am not trying to couch this in terms of haole vs. hawaiian conflict. I simply don’t know enough to make an informed judgement call on that side of things. Therefore, what I am saying is that my personal immediate philosophical response is that this was a bad call. I don’t want to seem like I am some weirdo anti-minority guy (which is generally thrown at people who say disparaging things about policies put in place to benefit minority groups). I just want to say that equal is equal, and Hawaii is a part of the USA now (despite the fact that the school was established while it was still under the monarchy). Thing is, you can’t say Hawaii is alone in this. Institutionalized racism is in every state. Therefore, I am not finger pointing at Hawaii. Just thought I would point out that a federal judge has ok’d it in this particular instance too.
Also – I think it is absurd that in the ruling the court tries to separate bloodline and skin color as identifiers for race. (In other words, skin color doesn’t matter, because it’s the blood that determines whether or not you are a native Hawaiian, and somehow this is a less inflammatory method of identification.) What a ridiculous claim. It’s still discrimination based on a physical / genetic aspect of a person’s identity. That, in my book, is racism – well intentioned or otherwise. The court has left options open in the future, too. By the way, I think that as native Hawaiians continue to intermarry and have offspring that carry their blood, the school’s population will differentiate anyway. The pool of genetic material can only stay limited for so long. But that is a completely different story.
It seems that the aid is supposed to left alone because it is targeted to the victims in Hawaii – victims whose socioeconomic future was unsettled by the US when it aided in the overthrow of the monarchy. I am not saying the US was correct. I am not saying that they were not victims. I am saying that two wrongs don’t make a right. Is that fair?
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Update! This case IS recent. December 6th, 2006. Sorry for my ignorance, guys. Here are some links I found.
MSNBC Coverage (Local)
Star Bulletin (from 12/06/06)
KITV Honolulu
Honolulu Advertiser
LA Times (I know…LA Times??)
Hope that helps. Again, sorry for the ignorance. At least I am correcting it! Ha ha.
This entry is where bits of junk are collected when they don’t fit in other entries. I’ll probably continue it as a series from time to time. Not because I think you’ll find it interesting, though. Why do I say this? Well, I read an article that claimed that people who have web sites are pretty egotistical. They obviously think that they are worth someone spending their free time on. I don’t think I have internet based delusions of grandeur. I think I’m partially like Nikki, in that I just like to write, I’m partially doing this for friends and family, and partially it is kind of a new style of doing an open journal. So, I will keep posting, even when the present trend of nobody commenting continues. I realized that I don’t have any of the characteristics that make a good blog before I even started it. Those are, according to some internet people – candor, urgency, timeliness, pithiness, controversy, and utility. Am I ok with that? Mmmmm….yup, I think so.
My state made the news today in a goofy way. A mom had her kid arrested for opening his Christmas present too early. It’s awesome. Ha ha ha. I can’t believe it, but it has sure gotten a lot of coverage. (Slow news day, much?)
I also found a cool tutorial on how to remove tourists from your photos. I intend to try it out, provided my camera survives until my next trip, and provided I purchase a tripod (again). It’s the same technique used by the guys who made the short film 405 – when they have the shot of the huge empty highway. They didn’t shut the highway down, they just took a bunch of photos and stitched together the empty parts. Cool.
Linerider 2 has been officially released by the original’s creator, and can be played at Linerider.org . It has acceleration lines, an eraser, and the ability to draw lines backwards, as well as zoom in and out. Awesomeness. More time to be killed.
I am getting frustrated with my reading of Harry Potter in Japanese. It is becoming a huge chore, and I realize more and more how little Japanese I know. How do I know I don’t know Japanese? I have to force myself to read HP, whereas I go out of my way to read other stuff. Also – just noticed today after doubling up and then checking over in English – the Japanese version is WAY longer than the English version. This has me confused, considering that Japanese is a high context language and English is a low context language. This means that in a typical English sentence, more information is explicitly states by necessity than in a typical Japanese sentence (where it is not uncommon to leave out the subject, verb, both, or virtually any other huge meaning clue). It’s almost 120 pages longer. SHEESH. Maybe this can be accounted for due to the problem of explaining cultural references in Japanese, or complicated linguistic jokes. I dunno. But it is becoming slightly tiring. My goal is to have it read by the next time I go to Yuge, because I am giving the English version to a student there. Yup. Ok, I’m done. 4 posts in one day. Yikes. I think I’ll fudge the dates so you won’t know. Shhh.
(…I choose to describe…all the feeling that I lost lying here right on my side… 32 points for the reference, 40 if you sing the original.)
This shall be known as the TMI entry. Well, the “winter has come” / TMI entry. For those of you who don’t like TMI, just don’t read this entry. Simple. Ha ha. Some will get a kick out of it, though, I think.
Winter has come. My bed is freezing, and when I wake up I can sometimes see my breath. That is not cool. It also makes me mimic Mr. Luke King, in that I wait until it is past the point of absolutely necessary to get out of bed to make it on time. Thanks cold. You made me almost late. I’m not taking the blame for this one.
Winter has come. When I ride my bike for a long time, I start to taste blood. Thing is – I can’t figure out if my lips are that chapped, or if it’s an illusion. I am betting illusion since I haven’t seen anything bad. I use what’s left of my Burt’s Bees balm. You know, I guess it is possible to blow your nose too much…but I don’t…and wouldn’t go there even if I did. Gross.
Winter has come. The bathroom at school, like most rooms in most buildings here, has no insulation. Pee steams. A lot. A whole lot.
Winter has come. Gastrointestinal distress is easier to deal with in a crowded but silent office. The kerosene heater will back you up, and no one will be the wiser, because the whole room smells like kerosene, or like an extinguished kerosene heater. Shhh. Silence is golden.
Winter has come. I have just started into my 3rd box of tissues, my 4th roll of toilet paper, my 2nd bar of soap, and my 4th new razor. I am learning how efficient I am at living alone, and it makes me think that I could, perhaps, become a professional assassin. Except that I am pretty sure the ability to kill people well is more important than efficiency – unless it’s efficiency in killing people.
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In other news, unrelated to the coming of winter, but figuratively frigid, BenQ has pulled the advertisement I found so distasteful, and has issued this apology (which is now all you will get on their website if you go):
This was a good move, BenQ. I’m glad you realized that you can’t keep the “your national trauma is my edgy commercial mise en scène” approach to advertising going. It will torpedo your
marketability, which is the exact opposite of an ad’s purpose. Apology accepted.
Today was a slow day at the office, since we’re still in the exam period, so I played about on the internet and learned about the clerihew, the higgledy piggledy, and other forms of comedic verse. I also watched people argue about whether or not secularism killed Russia and how the vodka problem happened. I read peoples’ reviews of the ISG report, and was incredibly bored, and not at all surprised. I found the above apology from BenQ. And I also decided to write a TMI entry when I saw that the weather has changed enough for pee to steam. (I discovered that on my own, in real life, not on the internet. Just in case you were confused.) That is all. Just thought I’d share. Feel free to reciprocate. Or not.
Thank you, Gwyneth Paltrow, for reminding me to post this. This post, in short, is just to say that I do take some offense at the stupid American stereotype that’s floating around out there. I was reminded very early on in my new stint here in Japan that some people really don’t view Americans as normal people. I was having lunch with some new (foreign, not Japanese) JETs, and during introductions, nationalities naturally came up – both for the sake of information and to explain our various accents. After I said that I was from America, I was a bit ruffled by my friend’s response. They said, quite seriously, “Well, you must be one of the good ones, since you’re not there anymore. You’re out in the world so you’re not as dumb as the rest.” I kid you not. I found that entirely repulsive – as I think anyone should when they’ve been insulted. I should mention, by the way, that this is not common among JETs that I have met. Most of them are charming people, and I really value the friendships I’m weaving here, so don’t think of me as some persecuted guy.
His comments just made me reflect on our status in the world. Now, to make sure that you take my meaning, I am NOT speaking in political terms here. Remove politics from the argument. What you have left is the really sad touristy, evil capitalist, self-assured moron stereotype. I think. Dunno. I cracked up at a little back and forth I found on the net dealing with Apple’s mom’s palate, and what sensations America and Britain conjure as they play upon it. The news story has already been recanted, and attributed to translation / linguistic error, by the way. Some say there’s a pattern in Paltrow’s past statements. I don’t care enough to look into it. Anyway, one reader got mad about the response the site had to the news story. “This post is probably the most petulant thing I’ve ever read [here]. Set aside the fame and the easy targets on the backs of the principals in that story and consider for a moment whether Paltrow might be right.” Well, I don’t think she was right, but I also think that the question is slightly absurd.
What thrilled me was the response from Jonah Goldberg, who came back with this: “ ERRRRRR. No sale. I am an enormous anglophile. And I actually kind of like Paltrow. But this email is ludicrous. What on earth makes anybody think that Paltrow’s `America` is anything like the real thing? She grew up in the belly of the Hollywood beast. And now that she’s getting away from Hollywood (oh so far away; Madonna is her neighbor in a tony area of London where she lives with a member of a rock band) she’s fitting in by [dumping] on her native country in a perfectly fashionable way. Indeed, she doesn’t even live in England. She lives amongst a global cultural elite of cosmopolitan flibbertygibbets who think they’re the only people in the world who deserve to be outrageously wealthy. Maybe if she didn’t like the conversation in America, it had to do with the people she chose to have dinner with rather than the country in which she chose to have it.”
Ha ha. I don’t know Gwyneth Paltrow, so I’ll stay out of the conversation. Besides, I don’t know if I’d find a dinner conversation with her entertaining at all. And chances are if I didn’t, she’d find me rather boring too. So, again, the point is moot.
But back to dumb Americans. Are there dumb people in America? Oh, heavens, yes. Loads of them. You can buy them by the truckload, I think. Are there smart Americans? Um….why, yes, there are. I know a few, and aspire to become one. So, in short, is all hope for America lost? Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin. (And for those of you who like to split hairs, I gave myself an F- shaving ability on the front page of this site, which tells you I am sure – you know I am if I’m wagering the sad mess on my chin.) Geeze, three bad jokes in a row. That’s a blog foul. Sorry.
People laugh because many Americans can’t point to countries where we’ve had military campaigns, and are ignorant of major landmarks. I’d just like to point out that the BBC recently reported that British school kids can’t always locate the U.K. on a map of the world…. And let me tell you, Japan fares no better on the random geography quiz. Ask questions like what 2 countries border America and you get answers like Russia, Germany, and Australia. I love when Australia borders somewhere. They’d be shocked, really. Speaking of Australia – I think they are the most honest when it comes to geography and world awareness. How? They came up with the World Map from Down Under. You can see some examples here. Everyone knows most about where they were born and raised, and it is, in effect, the center of their mental map. I know that South Carolina makes the shape of a triangle, but maybe I don’t know where Micronesia or Monaco are. (I do, but they just came to mind. Sorry.) No biggie. My world will forever be warped by growing up in SC. To me, New York will always seem to be to the North, even if I’m in New York (a weird feeling). California will always be to the west, despite the fact that it lies east of me at present. It’s kind of relative, you know? Seems to me that we could all brush up on our geography. (Doesn’t mean I’m willing to be slaughtered playing the capitals game with you people. I’m so ashamed…)
Anyhoo, just to prove that I’m a good sport, here’s a really great list of people I really do wish would figure things out before they go to other countries and perpetuate the stereotypes. Nicely done.
Quick bits about my school at Hakata.
1) My school, pictured above, is very close to the ocean. Yes. That is the ocean in the picture. The baseball field is effectively a peninsula. Truth be told, my school has a moat. Does your school have a moat? My point is, if ever there was an all Japan schoolkid skirmish, my kids would totally win, because they have a moat. Forces a bottleneck point at the cement drawbridge (we just need to make that sucker retractable), so the child stormtroopers from the mainland would be easy picking. Wow. I am sick. Someone stop my daydreams. Ha ha ha. (It’s a joke, people. Sheesh.)
2) My school has regular visitors of the non-school associated type. For instance, there is the man who has cleaned my glasses 6 times this year. I don’t know his name. He doesn’t know mine. But darn it, he knows I will accept his offer to clean my glasses without fail. I finally asked. Turns out he’s a salesman. Is that normal? Do salesmen have access to schools while they’re in session in your country? Since I realized what the nefarious glasses man was up to, I have been watching for other signs of infiltration…next time I see him coming, I’ll pull that drawbridge in and drop him in the moat. Salt water can be a booger to clean off of glasses. (Not an actual booger, but that would be gross too.)
3) We have eagle type birds at my school. I love them. I think they are kites, actually. The other teachers think I am slow in the head or something, because I run to the window to watch them wheel and dive in the sky. I can’t get enough. They’re beautiful, and they make shrieks just like they do in nature films! (They do, however, lead me to think that flying contraptions have no problem sorting out the crossing of a moat, with or without plausibly retractable cement drawbridge.) I saw one today fly into the moat and grab a fish. Trouble was, it wasn’t a fish. The bird was sad. That made me sad too, just a little.
4) My school has 2 nearby banks of vending machines. One is by the “Culture Shop,” which I honestly mistook for an adult bookstore the first time I saw it. Turns out it is a convenience store that sells magazines of the non-sketchy variety, and overpriced yumminess. I go there to buy Yubari Melon Milk in summer and Mild Cocoa, Kilimanjaro Roast, or American Coffee in the winter. Then there are the far vending machines, by the store. I don’t go there, cause if I’m at the store, I’ll go in and buy something, and that has got to stop. They should put a retractable cement drawbridge in to stop me from needlessly spending cash on junk in that store, and then I’ll go to the vending machines there – provided I can cross their moat to get to them. Anyway, the sick part is this – at the near vending machines, there is one designed to look like you’re playing a casino game. Thing is, you never win. It has 4 spaces designed to look like slots. Upon making a purchase, the numbers roll away. You inevitably get 3 in a row, and the last one is always 1 value too high. 1112, 2223, 3334, etc. What’s bad about this? Well, true, it’s harmless, and I don’t feel cheated since I intend to exchange a set amount of money for a particular drink when I hit a vending machine. What’s bad is that it tells me I’m stupid. You see, despite knowing that it’s a gimmick, I stand there and feel compelled to watch the last number each time I buy something. I feel like it’s mocking me. I’ll mock it when the child mainland stormtroopers come and I lock the gambling vending machine on the far side of the retractable cement drawbridge that spans across the moat. (Did I mention that we have a moat?)
5) Random anecdote. Walking back from buying lunch at shopping center, I passed a lady and her kid as I hurried by the yakisoba lady’s stand (feeling guilty, now that we’re friends and I didn’t buy lunch from her). The lady’s kid screams “KONNICHIWA!” at the yakisoba lady. She replies, “Aw, hello little baby!” (I am bemused – this is a child, not a baby.) The kid responds by screaming another “KONNICHIWA!” Looked petrified. The yakisoba lady looks up at the mom and says, and I kid you not, “Your baby is soooo cute. Is it a boy or a girl?” Ha ha ha – that’s all for today folks. (On this entry.)
