Rocking in Hakata

As of today, I’ve officially been asked by those in charge to participate in the Nametoko English Camp in Matsuno-cho. That’s far, far away from my island. I leave tomorrow afternoon, and I’ll be gone (from the blog) until next Monday, most likely. I get back into town on Saturday, but have no computer with which to enact my devious plans on the internet. Booo. I know.

I also want to take the opportunity to apologize for screwing up my invitation to Mel’s English camp – which she invited me to while we were traveling together in South Korea. I got back to her with a negative reply once my memory was jogged by this second invitation which was put through official channels before Mel’s. She had emailed me last month and I zoned out and dropped the ball. It was my fault. There’s a reason why everyone “jokes” about my serious lack of communicative skills. Sorry Mel. I hope your English camp kicks butt.

In the meantime, when I get back up and running with the programs and services that I had before the meltdown, you can expect some cool updates. I did the pirate race on Sunday, I’m touring the Asahi Beer brewery in Saijo with Will and his parents today, I have a week of English camp insanity after that, and then my computer supposedly comes home – at which point and I can begin to reconstruct the video I was making about the use of Japanese language in Heroes. All in all, should be good times.

I still wonder how it is that my summers – whether they be in America or Japan – somehow always wind up busier than my normal work season. What gives?

Deas Customary Drivel

Got this on a Coke product yesterday. Thought I’d share it with you, in case you were worried about it. I know I was before I diagnosed myself.

名越康文（なこし・やすふみ）先生
１９６０年生まれ。精神科医。専門は思春期精神科医学。９７年より、ラジオのＤＪで人気を評し、以降テレビ・雑誌などでも幅広く活躍。

裏あなた　Ｌｅｔ’ｓ　診断！あてはまる項目をチェック！

Ａ
___ 茶道などの静かな趣味にひかれる。
___ 自分にはぼーっとする時間がとても必要だ。
___ 服はシンプルなものをきちんと着る。

Ｂ
___ 何度もダイエットをしているが先敗続きだ。
___ 外での服装と家での服装が大違い。
___ 部屋の片付けは苦手だけど、探し物は出てくる。

Ｃ
___ 何か競争すると、ゲームでも本気になってしまう。
___ よくいびきをかく。
___ ダイエットさえ考えなければ、食事はボリュームがある方がいい。

Let’s translate that into English, so our other readers can play along. Shall we?

Dr. Nakoshi Yasufumi is a psychiatrist who was born in 1960. His area of expertise is “thought-spring-psychiatry?” Adolescent Psychiatry. (Someone want to help me out with that? Thanks Ken Y-N!) From 1997 on, he started to work as a DJ and now has a broad range of activities include TV appearances and magazine pieces.

Your other side – Let’s diagnose! Check and see which type your data matches!

A
___ You are drawn to quiet hobbies, such as the sado tea ceremony.
___ You feel that you require time to space out and blankly stare off into nothing.
___ You wear simple clothes in a smart way.

B
___ You diet repeatedly, but continue to make the same mistakes.
___ There is a big difference between what you wear out and what you wear at home.
___ You’re not good at tidying up, but always manage to find what you’re looking for.

Ｃ
___ When competition is involved, you wind up playing seriously, even in games.
___ You frequently snore.
___ You can’t even think of dieting and think that meals should be big!

Did you fill out your answers? Ok, good. Now, let’s find out why we did this. Moving on to the diagnoses!

Aのチェックが多かったあなたは。。。裏一途タイプ
観念のとりこになって、自分を見失いがち。批判的になって他の人の意見をバッサリ切ってしまう傾向に。また、近い将来に不安を抱いて不眠症になったりする人も。
ワンポイントアドバイス：不安になった時は、天然水を飲んでちょっと落ち着こう。

Bのチェックが多かったあなたは。。。裏だだっこタイプ
誰も見ていないところでは、だらしなくなりがち。また、人にバカにされたと思ったらキレることもしばしば。一緒にいる人が恥ずかしくなってしまうような感情表現をしてしまうことも。
ワンポイントアドバイス：キレそうだなと思ったら、アロマモーメントでリラックス。

Cのチェックが多かったあなたは。。。裏バイオレンスタイプ
何かに追いつめられ、コンプレックスを逆なでされると、つい暴カ的に自分が闘って負ける、力でねじ伏せられることへの恐れから。
ワンポイントアドバイス：何かに当たりたくなったら、モーニングサイクルでスッキリしよう。

Again, let’s translate that for the English-only guys and gals out there.

If you had lots of checks in the A section, then you are secretly an earnest type.
When you become captive to an idea, you tend to lose sight of yourself. You’re also inclined to cut down another person’s opinions in a critical way. You may also find yourself worried about the near future to the point where you lose sleep over it.
One point advice: When you’re feeling anxious, drink some (regular Minaqua) spring water and calm down.

If you had lots of checks in the B section, then you are secretly a spoiled child type.
When nobody is looking, you tend to be grungy. Also, if you think someone has made you look stupid, you frequently flip out over it. You probably also embarrass people you’re with by expressing your emotions too much.
One point advice: When you’re about to lose it, relax with an Aroma Moment (Minaqua brand of water).

If you had lots of checks in the C section, then you are secretly a violent type.
When you’re pursuing something and it rubs your complex the wrong way, you unintentionally fight and lose to the power of your rage. You might be freaked out that your anger can hold you down. (Very unsure of this translation – someone help.)
One point advice: When things are heating up, refresh yourself with Morning Cycle (Minaqua brand of water).

What an interesting look at my alternate ego. At least I got a dolphin hair band with it. I think my alternate ego (B, the spoiled child type, in case you wondered) has been wanting one for a while. And since the water is ridiculous, all I can take from this is the dolphin hair band and some giggles. Ha ha ha. Post your flip side and corrections to my lousy translations in the comments!

Deas Customary Drivel, 日本語

So…you know how IT support is probably the single most frustrating experience ever? Well, second language IT support is just like that, only worse. It’s frustration on steroids. Whether it be in my second language (Japanese) or in the agent’s second language (English), we all want to strangle someone when we’re done. Sigh. The problem is that tech support requires a specialized vocabulary that I’ve simply not picked up. I have it in English, as well as the knowledge, but not the Japanese to correspond with it. I wind up getting asked the newbie questions like “did you turn the computer on?” and “is the keyboard connected?” and I feel…well, down about it. Then, the reverse situation on the English language line, where my comprehension is sooo far above the agent helping me that I can literally hear him sweat. Poor guy. Many of you get the unnecessary “I see” or “OK” or similar soundbyte in a conversation where it’s clear that the opposite is true. Do that over the phone about a technical problem. Bring your own weapons. Sheesh.

Anyway, the update today is that my lovely 24-inch, 2.33 GHz Core 2 Duo, 256 MB nVidia VRAM, 3 GB Memory, 750 GB HDD iMac is going to be doing some traveling without me. Due to monetary concerns and scheduling problems, I opted to have the thing shipped. Because I live in “the pretty sticks,” dubbed so by Seth because it’s the middle of nowhere – but gorgeous, it will take them until Saturday to get a guy out to me. That fellow will not speak English, but I’m not really worried about that. He’ll collect the computer itself – not the keyboard, mouse, power cord, or any peripherals. Cool by me. He’ll box it and ship it back to Apple somewhere. They’ll tinker with it and most likely swap out the hard drive for a new one. Then they’ll ship it back after freshly installing OS X again – whether they’ll take it all the way to 10.4.10 again, or merely restore it to its original 10.4.7 state remains to be seen. They say it normally takes about one week. Adjusting for life on my island, who knows what that means. I hope it’s a legitimate estimate – Japan’s not a huge country geographically speaking, after all.

This talk brings me to one of my pet peeves with computer stuff. I could care less about the physical drive that they’re collecting. I care about the data on that drive. I am concerned, like most knowledgeable consumers are, about the possibility of identity theft. I use my computer as an international financial institution of sorts – making transfers, paying loans, buying things from the other side of the world, etc. Therefore, it contains credit information, account information, and loads more about my digital monetary life. I want that protected. Most people in internet forums seem to think that people get angry when a company replaces their hard drive because they lose data. That’s probably true with some – who haven’t properly backed up – a lesson I learned last time. But with folks like me, I am more concerned with what happens after my hard drive is erased. Is the old one destroyed? It better be. I WANT MY OLD DRIVE DESTROYED. If I had my way, it’d be zeroed out, wiped magnetically 10 times, and then dismantled so the platters could be shattered. I’d feel comfortable with that. But at this time, it seems like that’s not really a concern on most of the companies’ parts. Uncool. I guess I just have to trust Apple…a feat that is becoming increasingly difficult for me… Oh well, here’s hoping all turns out well.

Deas Apple, Customary Drivel, Unsolicited Commentary

If you’re a foreign male in a Japanese bath house, you may be familiar with the notion of “weenie watching.” You may also have discovered the off-putting lack of hesitation to completely mow over urinal etiquette, which demands that when more than one person is present the urinals farthest from one another are to be used, pair up next to you and have a good long glance. Or two. You may have had your parts spoken about. You may have found it amusing, disturbing, frightening, or difficult to pee. Weenie watching happens a lot between Asian men and Western men. It’s a cultural phenomenon that is brought about thanks to stereotypes on both sides. Put them together, remove certain bits of clothing, and there you have it. Weenie watching. (Incidentally, this topic came up in my screed entitled “Nix the Public Naked Time,” which was written for a Japanese test. Both languages are provided, if you’re interested.)

Here’s a bloke who’s gone and figured out a way to use weenie watching as a justification for a lawsuit. Definitely weenie watching news. I love how the whole thing is about how his privacy was invaded…and yet they sneak this little gem in: “Also, the suit says, his sales targets were ’set unreasonably high’ in an effort to force him out of his job.” Um…wait, that had nothing to do with weenie watching and everything to do with job competency. Or maybe I’m wrong. Either way, here’s the article with a link to the original – which features a picture (of the man’s face, people, for the love of all that is decent and good). Looks angry about the whole scenario.

FIRED EXEC’S ‘BEEF’
‘HUNG’ OUT TO DRY
By RODDY BOYD

July 23, 2007 — A former Mitsubishi executive is suing his ex-em ployer because a co-worker allegedly took a picture of his penis after a booze-fueled karaoke bash – and his boss compared it to an “Italian sausage.”

In his suit filed in Manhattan federal court last month, James Bonomo, a former paper sales manager for Mitsubishi International Corp., alleged that his career effectively ended after the humiliating incident during what should have been a routine business trip to China in April 2005.

Bonomo joined MIC’s New York office in 1999, and his suit said that during his tenure, annual sales grew tenfold, from $3.5 million to $39 million.

The suit also says that during a trip to Beijing, Bonomo and his Tokyo-based superior, Tetsuya Furuichi, and a China-based Mitsubishi exec had dinner with a potential customer.

Afterward, Furuichi took everyone to a bar for some liquor-fueled karaoke, telling Bonomo beforehand, “You will be the target tonight,” the suit charges.

Later that same night, Furuichi allegedly pressured Bonomo into visiting a bathhouse for what he said would be “a non-sexual massage” with the clients. En route, Bonomo’s boss regaled him with an analysis of his admiration for the purported genital size of Italian-Americans, he said.

Despite Bonomo’s discomfort, Furuichi continued on in that vein, allegedly saying, “Italian men have penises ‘down to here,’ gesturing to his knees.” The suit noted that Bonomo is both Italian-American and gay.

At the bathhouse, a colleague from Mitsubishi’s Beijing office, Yue Zhibo, took a picture of Bonomo’s penis on his cellphone and then “refused to delete the picture” when Bonomo demanded he do so, the suit states.

After the incident, Bonomo’s boss, Furuichi, compared Bonomo’s penis to an “Italian sausage,” the plaintiff said.

Not long after the trip, Bonomo’s suit claims, his work environment became abusive and hostile. Also, the suit says, his sales targets were “set unreasonably high” in an effort to force him out of his job.

The suit asks for the court to assign compensatory damages and lawyers’ fees.

Mitsubishi denied all of the charges to The Post.

“We investigated these claims and found them to be baseless,” a Mitsubishi spokeswoman said. “No one involved in Bonomo’s [Beijing trip] said that anything like what is alleged in his suit occurred.”

She added that at no point before he left the company did Bonomo ever file a complaint, mention it to his supervisors or call the company’s anonymous tip line.

Bonomo told The Post that he stands by his story but referred all other questions to his lawyer, Jeffrey Liddle of Liddle & Robinson, who declined to comment.

Read the original.

Ha ha ha ha – oh, tabloid journalism, you make me giggle. That concludes today’s Weenie Watch ‘07 bulletin. Feel free to submit further stories for future bulletins. I wrote this to lighten my mood since my computer is out of commission and I won’t be able to post any cool media stuff for a long while. If this entry bothered you, lighten up. Ha ha.

Deas Customary Drivel, Unsolicited Commentary

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a little while know that I encountered some technical problems with my less-than-a-year-old 24-inch iMac. Last time it was due to some software problems and I was able to fix it. This time it looks far more serious. This time my hard drive has died. My computer cannot boot into Mac OS X or Windows. I can’t simply reinstall Mac OS X (the worst case scenario in the last bout with the computer), because it cannot find the hard drive on which to freshly install. Can’t diagnose it either. All I get is a sad little folder with a question mark on it, and then it boots into my install disc. I’m not squeamish about playing with computer’s internal workings – but it isn’t a real option this time. The iMac is not really user-serviceable. Plus, it’s under extended warranty that I risk voiding by attempting the fix myself. Therefore, my computer is useless at present. Please be patient with me as I try to get it fixed. I cannot explain to you how frustrating this is. I will likely have to go find an Apple Certified Technician…but I live in a fishing village on an island in the middle of the Seto Inland Sea. ‘Nuff said. I’m sorry, guys. Ugh. Let’s hope it doesn’t take too long, eh? (On the flip side, I’ll be able to blog about second language tech support afterward…and that sounds even hairier than the normal kind…)

Deas Apple, Customary Drivel, Unsolicited Commentary

I once watched an episode of the PBS series Frontline entitled American Game, Japanese Rules. It dealt with interesting aspects of the “Japanization” of certain institutions that are considered American (or Western at least). The two big ones were business and baseball. Though the majority of the business portion focused on anti-foreigner legislation and copyright entanglements, the baseball side demonstrated that baseball is recognizable – but quite changed from its American original. I admit that loads of it was merely exoticizing the Japanese “otherness” – for instance, ties are the best because then nobody loses honor…if Japan wanted to worry that strongly about honor they’d find a Japanese sumo champion to win the sport back…but I digress.

Aspects of the game are really different. I went to a highschool game between Hakata HS (my base school) and Saijo HS (from the mainland, more suburban). We got slaughtered by Saijo. Their team was really looking good. I thought their pitcher was great. For us the game got off on the wrong foot. By that I mean we gave them 2 runs in the first inning and then our pitcher accidentally beaned a dude in the head during the second inning…which needlessly made us feel a bit timid. You don’t throw well if you’re afraid to bean another guy in the head, I guess. Anyway, the cheerleading and crowd participation aspect of the whole thing really intrigued me. I’m used to American style games where you can sit in the shade if you want, make as much or as little noise as you want, eat if you want to, etc. Not so at a high school game.

One thing I noticed was that the brass band and the cheer squad set up in the bleachers alongside us. (Same for the other team.) This meant that there was no separation – they were not performing on the field. They were literally leading us through cheers. They’d hold up a sign, including which cheer and for which player, and we’d belt it out alongside them as they did pre-rehearsed official “cheer” movements. But there was an order to it. First we cheered our school song with the brass band. Then we cheered our opponents. Awesome. They did theirs and cheered us back. We then proceeded to cheer each time a guy came to bat, for each swing, for each pitch if we were on defense, and for each catch – obviously. That is TIRING. Ha ha. I also loved our brass band’s rendition of Popeye the Sailor Man and Cutey Honey. Interesting choices. I’ll try to have a video of a couple of the songs cut into one another up in a “honey flash!” Also – I got crazy sunburned, so I will probably return from this weekend’s pirate race resembling a charcoal briquette. Got my uniform this morning. Blue, #5.

Deas Customary Drivel, Media, Photos, Unsolicited Commentary