Rocking in Hakata

So…had an interesting lunch run yesterday involving an old guy, an ambulance, the police, and general hysteria. Here’s a recap. Oh the life I lead. (Read on.) Read more…

Deas Customary Drivel

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DJ Casper’s Cha-Cha Slide

Easy lesson plan? Heck yeah. I simply teach the terms in the song and then force the kids to do the dance with me. We clear the desks to the side of the room and have them stand in a grid for starting positions. Normally they are reticent to join in, and wind up lining the walls. Then they watch me making a fool of myself, and laugh and loosen up a bit. I encourage the more outgoing kids, and eventually everyone is dancing – even the kids who would rather light themselves on fire than answer questions in class. Weird. I know. At least this is true for high school. Here are the terms I’ve used before. Just pop them on a handout and go over them before dancing – there’s your justification for dancing in English class. Who just saved you thinking for a day? I did.

Terms:
Left 左
Right　右
Back　後ろ
Turn*　回る
Hop　ぴょんと跳ぶ
Stomp　踏みならす
Cha-Cha**　チャチャチャを踊る
Slide　滑る
Crisscross　足を交差する
Freeze　動くな！　（結氷する）
Clap　拍手
Low　低くかがむ
Top　上、天井の方に手を伸ばす
Reverse　半回転する
Charlie Brown***　？？？

* – I usually have them turn 90 degrees counterclockwise. It’s a line dance, so as long as you keep the turn uniform, you can do whatever you want.
** – This is most definitely not a real cha-cha. I basically have them do a “conga line” motion with their hands and step back and forth to the rhythm. They weren’t up for a real cha-cha.
*** – “Charlie Brown” is what always gets the most laughs. Because it’s ridiculous. Either mimic the dances from the Peanuts characters or, if that’s before your generation, feel free to liberally borrow from the dances of the Scooby Doo crowd. As long as flailing limbs and goofy knee and elbow interaction is involved, they will love it. Ha ha.

Deas Customary Drivel, Media, Music

I’ve enjoyed my breakfast favorite in burrito form, omelet form, toaster pop-up form, biscuit form, and classic form. Now I can add potato chip form. Nice. In the grand tradition of weird snacks from Japan, the Calbee company has gone above and beyond the call of duty and turned in a flavorful potato chip / breakfast combination. Click any picture for a larger version.

The chips contain: potato, vegetable oil, Dextrin, salt, starch, egg powder, onion powder, yeast extract powder, tomato flakes, pork extract powder, pepper, bacon extract powder, seasonings, fragrance, sour enhancers, and sweeteners. Yum! (Also…tomato flakes?!)

The panel reads “Monthly Debut! Fun Flavor Chips Series. Crispy variation. Bacon and eggs flavor. Bacon’s aromatic scent and mellow flavor of eggs. The deliciousness is brought out, accented by pepper.” Ok, “aromatic scent” is repetitively redundant. So let me change that to “fragrant aroma.” Ha ha. Japan, I love your go-get-’em attitude towards oddball snacks. Bacon and Egg chips? You got it!

Deas Culinary, Customary Drivel, Media, Photos

I got a wonderful surprise in my inbox this morning. My Uncle Brad sent me a message. This is a big deal because he recently went blind, and the internet / email scene was kind of difficult for him. It’s too cool. He sent a voice recording over email and told me that if I wrote him back (which I am!) he had some cool software that would read the mail back to him. I love it!

The only thing that makes me sort of sad is thinking that I get a rich message full of subtle vocal intonation. I can hear his purposeful inflection – sarcasm, care, concern, etc. If I send him a text email that will be read by a computer, I can’t help but imagine it reading my words in very much the same way that Appletalk and virtually every other text-to-speech software I’ve toyed with has sounded – blatantly mechanical. Seems like an unfair trade-off. Maybe I can figure out a way to trade voice messages with him. Like phone calls, but spaced out like emails for convenience’s sake. Anyway, I just wanted to praise the technology and make a note of it. Too cool. I’ve missed his voice. And Uncle Brad – if you are surfing my page, I guarantee you that we’ll hang out before you head off on your Christmas trip. (If not, don’t worry, it’s in my reply.)

Deas Customary Drivel

I’m in there. It’s the 2007 Hakata High School teachers. So much awesome in so small a picture. These are the folks I see all the time at my base school.

Sorry about the distortion – I minimized it as much as possible, but the print was really curvy. Oh well. Did you find me? I don’t look like me in this picture at all, I think. But that’s my opinion.

Today was a sick day. Boo. But I finally hit 20,000 words. Yay.

Deas Customary Drivel, Media, Photos

Translated into Japanese, baby. For all the right reasons. Dubious cultural enrichment, for instance. If you missed this internet meme, please go check it out. You might laugh. (Fair warning though – the earlier jokes are far funnier and less foul than the more recent ones.) I went through a few sites, found the least offensive ones that made me chuck-le (unlike my own pun there), and transcribed them below. Enjoy.

WIKIPEDIA CONTENT

Chuck Norris Facts are satirical “facts” about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris, which have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The “facts” tend to involve jokes and plays on claims of Norris’ toughness, attitude, virility, “alpha-male status”, sophistication and masculinity stated in an absurdly serious tone, for example:

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.

The “facts” typically claim that Chuck Norris is some type of irate, all-powerful, superbeing. Some of these “facts” have also turned into popular jokes. Like most Internet phenomena, the Chuck Norris facts have spread around the world, leading not only to translated versions, but also spawning localized versions mentioning country-specific advertisements, other Internet phenomena, etc. Allusions are also sometimes made to his use of roundhouse kick attacks to perform seemingly any task, his large amount of body hair with specific regard to his beard, and his role in the action television series Walker, Texas Ranger.

Shockingly, it appears that Wikipedia Japan has beat me to the punch! This is actually good news – means people have already discovered the hilarity. They have a wonderful little aside about Chuck Norris Jokes. It even features some background explanation to make sure that the jokes are well explained. (This is something I appreciate on other sites, too…) I’ll put their content first, then I’ll supplement it with whatever is leftover on my list. Enjoy.

WIKIPEDIA JAPAN CONTENT

チャック・ノリスジョーク

アメリカでは、その特異なキャラクターから彼を題材にしたチャック・ノリスジョークなるものが数多くあり、しばしば人々の間で笑いの種になっている。

* Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

（銃が人を殺すのではない、チャック・ノリスが人を殺すのだ。） 注：安易な銃規制に反対するスローガン「銃が人を殺すのではない、（銃を悪用する）人が人を殺すのだ。」のパロディ

* The leading causes of death in the United States are 1.Heart Disease 2.Chuck Norris 3.Cancer.

（合衆国内での主な死因は 1.心臓病 2.チャック・ノリス 3.癌　である。）

* Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He just stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

（チャック・ノリスは本を読まない。彼は、ただ彼の欲する情報が得られるまで本を睨み続けるのだ。）

* Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

（チャック・ノリスは時計をしない。彼が今、何時何分か決めるのだ。）

* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

（毎晩、ブギーマンは寝る前に自宅のクローゼットにチャック・ノリスがいないかチェックするんだ。）

※当然だが、これらは全てジョークであり、実際のチャック・ノリス自身は、普通の人間（ホモ・サピエンス）である。

Let’s keep the ball rolling with a few more silly bits. As always, please consider this a community project and help correct my awkward translations. I’ve added a long-overdue humor category to the site, too, so feel free to peruse the old posts and chime in about those, as well. Any help given will be appreciated. 　I’ve got a cold today, so my head is a little slow – these translations seem sub par to me. Ha ha. Forgive me.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
進化論などない。ただチャック・ノリスが生きるのを認めた動物のリストがあるだけ。
[訳：Mayumi]

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
チャック・ノリスはねない。彼は待つ。

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
チャック・ノリスの主要な輸出は痛みだ。

There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
チャック・ノリスの髭の下に顎がない。もう一つの拳骨だけだ。

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
チャック・ノリスは二つの速さがある。歩くと殺す。

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
「狩る」と言ったら，不首尾に終わる可能性があるという意味が入っているから，チャック・ノリスは狩に行かない。彼は殺しに行く。

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
首位石鹸は細菌の９９．９％を殺せる。チャック・ノリスは何でもの１００％を殺せる。

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
チャック・ノリスは最初から２４という番組のメイン役割だったけど，12分３７秒だけで全てのテロリストを殺して急場を救った後で，プロデューサーが（ジャック・バウアーに）変えた。

Chuck Norris can speak braille.
チャック・ノリスは点字で話せる。

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
チャック・ノリスは一輪車でウィリーで走れる。

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
チャック・ノリスは一鳥で二石を殺せる。

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn’t kill you in your sleep.
起きるの一番良いところはコーヒーの香りじゃなくて、寝ていた間にチャック・ノリスに殺されなかったところだ。
注：フォルジャーズコーヒーのＣＭのセリフをパロディする。

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
チャック・ノリスは雨で雪だるまを作れる。

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
チャック・ノリスはコードレス電話で君を絞め殺せる。

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn’t even in a bowling alley.
チャック・ノリスはボーリングで300点出した。ボール無しで。しかも彼はボーリング場にいさえしなかった。[訳：Mayumi]

Chuck Norris doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”
チャック・ノリスは「隠れん坊」の遊びをしない。彼は「隠れて，チャックが君を見つけないように祈る」というゲームをする。

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
君はチャック・ノリスが見えるなら、逆にチャック・ノリスは君が見える。もしチャック・ノリスが見えなかったら、死ぬまで数秒しか残っていない可能性がある。

Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
チャック・ノリスは電話で伝言を録音しない。彼は脅しを残す。

Deas Customary Drivel, Humor, 日本語