Rocking in Hakata

This has been passed around on a few different sites. I saw it on JapanSoc and Japan Probe. Unfortunately, I am disqualified from giving blood thanks to a few trips I’ve taken (fear the mad cow, baby!), but maybe someone will see his site, go get tested, and a bone marrow match can be made. I’ll cut and paste from his website here. Visit the site to see what you can do and how to go about it.

HELP DAVID
(by testing for bone marrow compatibility)

Englishman David, a long-time resident of Japan and father of two children, received some shocking news late last year. He was diagnosed with a rare disease which leaves his bone marrow unable to produce white or red blood cells. His immune system has practically shut down and left him unprotected against all nature of germs and viruses. David was forced to quit his teaching positions at several local universities at the end of November and was hospitalized just before the New Year.

Fortunately, there is hope for David. Put simply, he needs a bone marrow transplant, a procedure which has now become fairly standard. All that is required is a compatible donor. After a transplant operation, the donor’s bone marrow will grow back normally, and David’s life will be saved.

There is a well-organized bone marrow donor system in Japan, but finding a compatibile donor is the problem. A suitable donor must meet six compatibility criteria, which means that the chance of two people being compatible is extremely small. Moreover, physiological differences mean that it is extremely unlikely that local (Japanese) donors’ marrow will be compatible with David’s Caucasian bone marrow. As there are currently no donor exchange programs with Europe, America is the only possibility, but the search procedure is likely to be long and costly. In matters such as these, half a year more can be the difference between life and death. The obvious solution is to try and find a donor among foreigners living in Japan.

Deas Customary Drivel

Here’s the Onion Network News’ coverage of the fake “Andorra Controversy,” which I translated into Japanese for giggles. A full English transcript is available below the fold.

冗談の前提：アメリカは、アフリカにある貧乏な国思い込んでヨーロッパの富裕なアンドラ公国に対外援助として０.３兆円を寄付してしまいました。

国務省は去年０３兆円を貰ったアンドラ公国に対しての論争によって守勢に立っています。信じていた通り疲弊しているアフリカの地方ではなくて、西ヨローパにある繁栄している国であることがわかった時からそんな資金援助はもう中断しました。いまヘッフロン代理国務長官と話します。ヘッフロンさん、どうしてこんなことになったんでしょうか？

まぁ、只の手違いでございます。誰かがアンドラはアフリカにある国だと言って、アフリカにある国名のような響きがあったので、対外援助を続けたのでございます。

これはヘッフロンさんとネグロポンテ代理国務長官の会話の謄本です。ネグロポンテさんは言った：「アンドラって、どこだ？」ヘッフロンさんが答えたのは：「それは。。。もちろん、あの何と言いましたかね。。。あの隣ですよ。。。」ネグロポンテさんは言った：「アフリカにあるのか？」またヘッフロンさんは：はい、アフリカです。その通り。彼らは酷い経済状況の中で生活しています。」

はい、単なる思い違いでございました。なんとなく海の反対側のどこかの国のことで、そういう生活は辛いだろうと思っただけでございます。

お金を返す可能性は無いでしょうか？

まぁ、あそこの政府に話しましたが、贈り物と思われていて、もう使ってしまったそうでございます。スキーシャレーと公共のサウナなどを修繕するのに役立てたのでございます。

ヘッフロンさん、これを見てください。今日の朝、国務省から送られた現行の地図です。明らかにアンドラはこの地図には書かれてありません。

まぁ、はい、そうでございます。実は、そのムンバンブの下にある青い所の中にあると思っておりました。

アンドラ公国の総理大臣は朝の記者会見で謝りました。そのアルベル・ピンテッテさんは言った。

「アンドラの国民はアメリカの優しさと愚かさを忘れないだろう。特に全国民一人一人に与えられた純金で作られたカゴ付きの熱気球に乗る時に。」

まぁ、考えてください。。ほら、世界中には数百もの国があると考えられます。それら全てをきちんと把握しておくのは難しいことなのでございます。申し訳ございませんでした。

誰がこんな問題の責任を持つんでしょうか？

この件に関してアンドラ公国の人々が責任を持たなければならないと思っております。自分たちの住む国がどこにある国なのかわかっているはずです。えっと、私たちに知らせるべきだったのでございます。

ヘッフロンさん、時間が来てしまいました。話してくださって、どうもありがとうございました。 Read more…

Deas Customary Drivel, Humor, Media, Video, 日本語

So, it’s that time of year when everyone and everything begins to slow down. (Ironic, since we’re just now beginning to thaw.) The result is a very bored ALT sitting captive in the teacher’s room for no ostensible reason, thus furthering the impression that he is an overpaid do-nothing… That image will be fixed when my admittedly larger than necessary calendar is filled out with admittedly brighter than necessary red ink with my admittedly insane schedule, come the new term. In the meantime, I stay off the computer as much as I can bring myself to – since they are under heavy use with the other teachers being here more often themselves. Lucky for me, then, that I’ve got 3 books to peruse as I bide my time. Le sigh. Luckily, next month looks pretty active. Graduations, school closing ceremonies, a last minute make-up visit (to cover a visit I missed while sick), and then a trip to look forward to. Yay! The only thing I have to look forward today, by comparison, is the strangely hypnotic uncharacteristic trip-hop Japanese song they’ve played during my lunch buying time for the last few days. It’s not much, but it’s something.

Deas Customary Drivel

I called the Dennis Miller Show for free using Skype from my apartment on a tiny fishing island in Japan just to see if I could do it. It worked! I just wanted to goof on the guys a little bit and see if I could get a rise out of them – the truth is that I really enjoy the fly by the seat-of-your-pants kind of casual style that the show has. It’s incredibly entertaining to me – a mixture of news, politics, sports, and behind-the-scenes showbiz stuff. Also, it really helps maintain my vocabulary. Talking to students in purposefully dumbed-down English all the time can have a deleterious impact on your ability to hold a normal conversation with other native speakers. It’s embarrassing. Ha ha. Anyway, if you’re bored and curious – here’s the call. Dennis (of SNL, HBO, ESPN, and general ranting fame) and his sidekick “Sal” crack me up – and I’m glad they can take a joke. Ah, refreshing self-reflexive humor. Gotta love it.

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So, as you can see, this hater from the future living in Shogun-land / “Jimmy” Clavell-ville successfully called into a radio show 14 hours out of sync. I might continue to do this in the future, now that I know it can be done. But only when I’m really bored and happen to be up late. And I won’t bother posting them, so no worries there. Ha ha. Lastly, I’ll clarify on one point that might weird people out, and head it off at the pass. The phrase “let’s touch Indians” is adapted from a line said by the character played by Albert Brooks in the film Lost in America. It is his character’s concept of what it means to “get real” or “be in touch with reality,” so in this case it just means that the show is accepting calls from regular folks out there. Like the character, the show kind of “finds itself” in the people it comes into contact with, outside of the studio bubble. No need to get uppity over it. You just gotta know the cultural allusions.

Deas Customary Drivel, Media, Unsolicited Commentary

Happy Valentine’s Day! Even if you have a general philosophical disdain for this holiday, like me, you can still enjoy the different kinds of chocolate you may receive. Anybody out there getting any giri-choco (義理チョコ), tomo-choco (友チョコ), or kanshya-choco (感謝チョコ)? Anyone know of any variations on the obligation chocolate side of things that I missed? (The real romantic kind of chocolate has only one variety that I’m aware of, so it bores me. The stratification on the obligation side is far more fascinating.) Anyhoo – hope your day isn’t too incredibly awkward. Later!

Deas Customary Drivel

I love being wrong. I passed. I have no idea how I got 285 of 400 points (for a smidgen over 71%). I was seriously convinced that I had failed the test, especially after finishing the listening section. As you can see, however, the listening section was percentage-wise my best. Weird. Awesome. But weird. I am pondering maybe taking the Level 2 again this year, just to keep me studying, since I’m positive that I need more time before striking out on a quest for the Level 1 exam. But can they revoke your score if you fail it the second time around? Ha ha. I know, I know. What a happy surprise. Yay! (Now all I need to do is get them to correct my name, and maybe order a display copy or two. Then again, maybe not. Ha ha.) Unreal.

Deas Customary Drivel, 日本語