Mario Kart Blues
Or should I say blue shells?
Ok, so while I usually stay away from writing about video games, I thought I’d offer up this quick one. I am very pleased with the brand new Wii version of the Mario Kart franchise. But after playing it myself, I am a bit dismayed at the game mechanics. And, shockingly, for the first time in a long time I found myself in pretty solid agreement with the folks who write critiques and reviews. They nailed this one, and they gave it a reasonable score. It is a great game, but it is not superb. It is wholly fun, but it is not addictive. I love the inclusion of the steering wheel accessory (even though I’d laughed about it being a worthless hunk of plastic prior to using it). But man, the AI has got to be nerfed a bit.
A quick vocabulary lesson. In the world of gaming, something that has been “nerfed” is an item, character or ability that has been softened up or taken down a notch in intensity since its last version. Usually it is a matter of trying to balance the game out by toning down something that is unfairly powerful. (And this could be avoided with more playtesting prior to release.) The word is obviously derived from the series of Nerf toys that I used to love so much. (My Nerf longbow rocked.) Anyhoo, back to the discussion.
The thing shared by 80% of the writers who reviewed the game is….drumroll please…frustration at the “comeback AI” and the way the item boxes mete out their goodies. Your position in the race at any given time directly alters the odds of pulling certain items out of the boxes. If you’re in front, you will most likely pull bananas or shells. If you’re in the middle of the pack, you’re going to wind up with turbos and shells most of the time. If you’re in the back, you get the hilariously comical kill-everything-in-your-way weapons that put you back in the race automatically. The result? You don’t want to be in first place until the very end of the race. Why?
Well, I found that I could race my butt off, be sitting on the edge of my seat as I rounded the last bend into the home stretch, and watch a ridiculous cataclysmic series of events unfold. Despite leading the race for around 3 minutes, in the last 14 seconds I was hit with two blue shells (which seek out the person in 1st place), two red shells (which seek out the enemy directly ahead of the shooter), a banana (from someone who swerved around me and dragged it in front, not from someone who threw it), and a bomb. And I was jostled by the other players bumping into me as the overtook me. Getting hit means losing your items, and I had a turbo. That went out the window. I placed 11th, just managing to edge out the last guy. You get hit once, you get piled on. You can race well, and then the AI decides it wants to win, so every character hits you on their way past. Now, let me add that this was the last race of 4 in the grand prix I was running. In the previous 3 races I placed first. But my ranking was, duly, smashed thanks to my 11th place failure. These fluke races are insanely discouraging.
Similarly, multiplayer is messed up. People who are equally gifted at racing are duking it out, and you might as well flip a coin, because nobody knows what is going to happen until the last 10 seconds or so. It’s totally warped. On the other hand, it makes the game crazy easy to pick up for a total newbie. They just have to fail for most of the race, get handed a wild powerup, and blow past everyone for the victory. Awesome. Not. Anyway, it’s weird maybe that this game restored my faith in the objectivity of game reviewers. It’s still a must-own game. But for crying out loud, let’s call the drawbacks drawbacks and not give it a pass since it’s part of the Nintendo stable. Sheesh! Ha ha.
By the way…anybody want to race?
Deas’ Wii: 6967 1406 3772 0289
Shoot me a message and I’ll give you my MK license number. 