Kerosene Delivery
Did you know that you can have kerosene delivered straight to your house in Japan? It’s one of the first things I learned to do pretty well on the phone here. (I hate the phone. Using the phone in a second language is always absurdly stressful.) But since I drive a scooter and can’t take my tank to the gas station, I figured it out really quickly. Here’s the deal. Get the phone number of your local kerosene stand, call them up and order some kerosene, wait for the delivery, make small talk with the delivery guy and pay him, fill your heater and enjoy warmth once more.
I got the number for my local kerosene place by stopping at a gas station on my island. I asked them if they sold kerosene, and they said they did. I asked if they delivered, and they said they did. They asked where I lived, and they said wait – you should call the other kerosene shop – they service your side of the island. They provided me with a business card. (I just saved the number into my cell phone.)
This is how the conversation usually goes. Consider it an example. It’s pretty straightforward. Depending on the person who answers, you may or may not get a 「もしもし」(moshi moshi).
Salesdude: こんにちは、村上石油でございます。
Konnichiwa, Murakami-Sekiyu degozaimasu.
“Hello, this is Murakami Petroleum.”Me: こんにちは。こちらは（アパートの名前と部屋番号）のデイズです。灯油を注文したいんですが。
Konnichiwa, kochira wa (apaato no namae to heya bangou) no Deizu desu. Touyu wo chumon shitai n desu ga.
“Hello, this is Deas from (apartment name and room number). I’d like to order some kerosene.”Salesdude: はい、わかりました。配達ですね。
Hai, wakarimashita. Haitatsu desu ne.
“Yes, I see. Delivery, right?”Me: そうですね。
Sou desu ne.
“Yup.”Salesdude: ポリ容器はどうされます？
Pori youki wa dou saremasu?
“What shall we do about a polyethylene container?”**Me: あっ,ありますよ。２０リトルの。一つだけです。
Ah, arimasu yo. Ni jyuu ritoru no. Hitotsu dake desu.
“Oh, I’ve got one. It’s a 20 liter container. Just one.”Salesdude: わかりました。えっと、何時にしましょうか？
Wakarimashita. Etto, nanji ni shimashyou ka?
“Alright. Um, what time shall we make it?”Me: まぁ、僕は今からずっといますので、今日なら何時でも構いません。
Maa, boku wa ima kara zutto imasu no de, kyou nara nanji demo kamaimasen.
“Well, I’ll be here from now on, so as long as it’s today I don’t really mind when you come.”Salesdude: じゃあ、多分（？）分ぐらいかかりますが、大丈夫でしょうか？
Jyaa, tabun (?)-(f)pun gurai kakarimasu ga, daijyoubu deshyou ka?
“It will probably take around (?) minutes or so, is that alright?”Me: はい、いいんですよ。
Hai, ii n desu.
“Sure, it’s no problem.”Salesdude: 畏まりました。では、失礼致します。
Kashikomarimashita. Dewa, shitsurei itashimasu.
“I understand. Well then, I’m hanging up.”Me: はい、失礼します。
Hai, shitsurei shimasu.
“Ok, me too.”** – this is a statement that could also be read as “do you need us to bring you a container?”
If you want to, you can call in advance and set up a time for delivery at a later date. That’s cool too. Some places sell the polyethylene tanks, too – so try to be clear about what you’re ordering and what they’re bringing. Humility is a boon here, so don’t feel bad about sacrificing your pride for the sake of clarity. 
Then you hang around and wait for the guy to show up. Just make sure your entry is clean and that you’re fully clothed and nothing could possibly go wrong. (And no, I’m not warning you from personal experience, but rather from an abundance of caution. Ha ha.)
You’ll hear your doorbell ring. It’s the kerosene man! Just hand him your empty tank, and he’ll truck it back down the stairs to his truck to pump it full. He’ll come back with a cash box and your full tank, and write you a little receipt. During fall and spring, when I’m feeling nice, I meet the guy in the parking lot so he doesn’t have to climb a ton of stairs twice, once carrying a full tank of kerosene. But it’s not necessary. This is primo Japanese practice time. Talk to your delivery dude about whatever’s on your mind. Easy topics include how cold it is, how expensive or inexpensive kerosene has gotten, the virtues or drawbacks of heating with kerosene, comparisons with your home country’s heating methods and weather, etc. You’ve got a conversation opportunity wide open. If you’re like me, you might end up talking about something completely out of the blue. I like weird conversations. 
Alright, now that you’ve got your kerosene, transfer some from the tank to your heater’s mini-tank. Please use a pump to do this – no MacGuyver tricks. I prefer the battery-powered auto-pumps that you can get at just about any home improvement center. They even have a bubble stop system like the gas station so that it cuts off when full. Nice. Just make sure you kill the switch before trying to wipe and stow the pump for later use. Please keep your kerosene in a safe place. I store it in one of two places; the laundry balcony outside (not in direct sunlight) or on the concrete floor closest to my apartment door inside my entryway. Remember to wipe up any spillage. Cleanliness is next to not-burning-your-place-down-edness. Fire safety first. Only you can prevent stupid, avoidable, incendiary loss of property or life. (Really – be careful. Don’t screw around with dangerous stuff. You’re an adult, for crying out loud.)
