This is my ridiculous contribution to the brand new Kanye West as-a-meme phenomenon. Inspired by this post on Japan Probe. If you have no idea what this is about, check out coverage of this loser’s latest public tantrum at this year’s VMAs. Becoming an internet meme is kind of poetic way to make a famous person irrelevant. Ha ha. Lame, sure. But that’s part of the point, I guess.
This just might be the smallest bill I’ve ever received in my life. I mean…what could I have possibly done that KDDI wants me to pay 33 yen for? It probably cost more to print that postcard, send it to me, and have me drive to the convenience store to pay it than the actual 33 yen that I apparently owe… At today’s exchange rate, this bill is roughly 36 cents, if I round up.
This was so weird, it really deserved its own post. No but(t)s about it. I went to a restaurant in Taipei called 便所主题餐厅 in Chinese, or “Modern Toilet” in English. It is exactly what it claims to be. A restaurant themed entirely around toilets and other bathroom fixtures. You can visit the official English site here or the official Japanese version here. Here’s a quick video that I whipped up.
It was an interesting experience all around. All of the tables are converted plumbing fixtures, most surfaces are tiled, the dishes are all special ceramic novelties, and the real bathrooms are relatively difficult to find thanks to their inadvertent camouflage. Ha ha. Specialty teas come in urinal cups, but you can purchase a take-home pee bottle to go. while I’m sure it was, I actually found it hard to feel like the place was properly sterilized / clean. Kinda makes sense, I guess.
The main dishes in the toilet bowls were great. (I actually realized that the bowls are self-contained chafing pots when I watched this video! You can see a little bit of flame under the lip of one of them.) I had the Thai curry and made a bad poo joke about how my meal won the prize for resembling its eventual end state. Oh,come on, dining in a place like that you can’t help but make a few bad poo jokes. Don’t judge me. 
The sides that come with the main dishes were really lousy. I didn’t bother finishing anything but the rice and curry from my main dish. The included soft serve at the end was similarly disappointing – and not only because it wasn’t solid chocolate to complete the effect. It’s also non-dairy and you can really tell. It’s super watery and doesn’t really taste of chocolate or vanilla…or anything else, actually. That’s probably due to the fact that they offer monstrous portions in their desserts. I saw a few parfait/sundae frankenstein bowls pass by us, and I’m telling you, you’d need a hungry soccer team to kill one off. No wonder they don’t use quality stuff – they’re going for quantity. It’s all part of the spectacle of the thing. Having said that, the fries were freaking amazing. Worth your time? Sure, it’s a restaurant themed for the bathroom! Take the chance when you get it. After all, when nature calls…
Culinary, Customary Drivel, Humor, Media, Photos, Trips, Video
“Millions of peaches, peaches for me. Millions of peaches, peaches for free.” Yeah, this tongue twister is all about how peaches and (Japanese) plums are related. I embarrassed myself in the video when I totally blanked on how to say 李 in English…but I left it in, cause I was too lazy to edit it out I keep it real. Or something. These two twisters are pretty much exactly the same thing, just in a different order. Both are repetitive, or circuitous at least, making them brethren with a certain family of English twisters. (Including the Peter Piper and Woodchuck twisters, 2 of my favorites.)
If you’re a cheater, you’ll see that you can just count your way through these things, but you’ll also see what a ridiculous looking math problem it becomes. Ha ha. I had a few stumbles in my runs through them. I noticed that occasionally you can hear a micro-m send before I say の – I think it comes from the lips slightly closing as my mouth begins the new character. Like a phantom m. (Or I just don’t want to admit that I fail sometimes, too.) It’s pretty hard. So, can you do it? Hmmm? Video responses with you attempting these tongue twisters are highly encouraged! Upload them to YouTube if you’re game. And now, a double-entry of the standard twister summary.
Difficulty: Easy
Kanji: 李も桃も桃のうち 桃も李も桃のうち。
Hiragana: すもももももももものうち、もももすももももものうち。
Romaji: Sumomo mo momo mo momo no uchi, momo mo sumomo mo momo no uchi.
Meaning: Japanese plums are a type of peach, and peaches are also a type of peach.
Audio:
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Difficulty: Easy
Kanji: 李も桃、桃も桃、桃にも色々ある。
Hiragana: すももももも、ももももも、ももにもいろいろある。
Romaji: Sumomo mo momo, momo mo momo, momo ni mo iroiro aru.
Meaning: Japanese plums are peaches, and peaches are peaches; there are lots of kinds of peaches.
Audio:
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By the way, if you’re interested in the other stuff I ramble on about in this video, here are some links. First, subscribe to my RSS feed if you please! You can use the standard feed, or have updates emailed to you. Then hit the 2 posts about the Loom Audio Drama (Part 1 and Part 2) that are up already so you’ll be ready for part 3 early next week. 
I loved Nicktoons when I was younger. Doug was definitely at the top of the list. I was re-watching it for the nostalgia recently, when I came across this scene in episode 8 of the first season. The episode’s titled “Doug on the Wild Side.” In it, his crazy grandmother comes to visit and gives him a few carpe diem type life lessons. One of the things Doug conquers before the end of the episode is sushi. It’s a really weird first experience for a lot of people, and I thought this was a great cartoonized version of a real encounter. This aired before I was even really aware of sushi – definitely before the big sushi boom got to the east coast of the US. It’s sort of funny to see how they attempt to represent a Japanese restaurant, too. Ha ha. Crazy how dated this looks, too. I’m so old!!
Time for the third lesson. This time we’re doing a slightly more complicated tongue twister that actually forms a sentence! (Yes, yes, a big day for us all.) The meaning is “A monk skillfully painted a picture of another monk onto a folding screen.” Ok, I actually interpret it as “another” monk, but it could be “a monk” again. Whatever. That’s being nitpicky. You might look at this tongue twister and think that the hard part will be the bou / byou / jou / bou progression – especially with the pronunciation of the glides (which means the y-plus-vowel sound tacked onto the first consonant of a syllable). It’s an understandable assumption. You might discover as I did, however, that that portion of the twister is relatively easy at high speeds when you use a rhythm to help you keep pace. For me, as evidenced in the video this time around, the hardest part is the separation of the particle を or wo (pronounced “oh” most of the time but conventionally represented as wo) and the preceding word “picture” – 絵 or e (pronounced “eh”). I wind up slurring it all together, even crashing into the last word 描いた or kaita and turning it into a mush-mouthed gaita, thereby ruining the end of the twister which is especially aggravating after making it that far! Ha ha. I hope you’ll try and enjoy this one. Video responses with you attempting this tongue twister are highly encouraged! Side note: I need a haircut. 
Difficulty: Medium
Kanji: 坊主が屏風に上手に坊主の絵を描いた。
Hiragana: ぼうずがびょうぶにじょうずにぼうずのえをかいた
Romaji: Bouzu ga byoubu ni jouzu ni bouzu no e wo kaita.
Meaning: A monk skillfully painted a picture of a(nother) monk onto a folding screen.
Audio:
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